What you may find surprising is that money doesn’t make us happy. Disagree?
According to Daniel H. Pink (author of ‘Drive’), as long as we’re compensated adequately, more money won’t incentivize us to work harder. People want autonomy in their jobs as well as more time off. However, for those that are under compensated they will likely be demotivated. So if you’re working a job that doesn’t fulfill you but you’re adequately compensated chances are you’ll eventually leave even if you are rewarded with a significant raise/bonus.
According to TIME magazine (The Science of Happiness: New Discoveries For A More Joyful Life), people in relationships are happier than those that are not. However, those that are in an unhappy marriage are worse off than being divorced.
In terms of holding grudges, Robert Waldinger indicated (in a TED talk) that grudges eat away at us and affect us negatively in many aspects of our lives. Relieving ourselves of grudges can go a long way in repairing relationships.
We all look forward to buying new things whether its a new car, a new house, or maybe a new suit. Unfortunately, that feeling doesn’t last. We quickly become bored of material things. In fact, they never truly satisfy us because the more we have the more we want. It is often the case that the best part of the whole ordeal is the act of buying the item itself.
Spending money on more meaningful things tends to lead to more happiness. For example, taking a vacation provides us with stories that can retold over and over (even if it isn’t 100% true). For some people, the majority of enjoyment is felt in the anticipation of the vacation. So the lesson learned is, plan your vacations as soon as you can. You’ll enjoy it more!
At some point in our careers we’ve been faced with situations where change seems so obvious to us (and at times necessary) but others feel the exact opposite.
Frustration continues to increase the harder we try and the more resistance we face.
What is the underlying problem? Essentially, why do people resist change?
- Some people just can see what’s in it for them or their team. Maybe the change wasn’t clearly articulated. If people can’t visualize an improvement to their well being, they likely won’t be supportive.
- Unfortunately some people are just lazy. And maybe that wasn’t always the case. Some people may be nearing retirement and just want to “ride the wave” so to speak. A change represents a disruption to their cozy work life which represents additional work for some.
- People in managerial or supervisory positions may feel threatened. They could feel that a drastic change could eliminate the need for their position/role. What they may not realize is that it could also open the door for other positions that may be better suited for them.
- Others get extremely stressed out over change. Some people lose sleep, start to lose their memory, skin conditions appear, or they develop digestive problems. It is important to create an environment where it’s ok to say you’re stressed and provide assistance to those that need it.
- It a lot of cases people want to play it safe. Even though they know the current way of doing things may be ineffective and inefficient, they would rather continue along rather than take a risk. This is where developing a growth mindset vs. fixed mindset makes a huge difference.
- Many organizations simply don’t have a culture that supports change. The proverbial “red tape” gets in the way and those that are trying to make change give up or leave the organization altogether. Management support is necessary for change.
Change is not easy but each of us can make an effort and it starts in our daily lives. If we strive to live outside of our comfort zone so much so that our discomfort zone becomes our comfort zone, change will seem like an everyday part of life.
I just finished reading this book by Carol S. Dweck, Ph. D. and I was absolutely blown away.
She describe 2 kinds of mindset:
The “fixed” mindset is where individuals assume they are limited by their god given talent and hard work will do nothing to increase their abilities. As a result, their refrain from taking risks because they don’t want to fail. Because failure would imply they’re just good enough. They may even go so far as to blame others for their mistakes.
On the hand, the “growth” mindset assumes you can always be better. Furthermore, failure is welcomed because it makes you better. The growth mindset encourages you to challenge yourself and go for anything you desire.
People do not necessarily fall into 1 of the 2 categories. For example, some people may have a fixed mindset when it comes to how their raise their kids. And at the same time they can have a growth mindset on how they perform their job.
By understanding your own mindset as well as others you can form better relationships with friends/family/children/co-workers/etc.
Finally, if you suffer from the fixed mindset, this book can show you how to shift to the growth mindset.